82 - Just the way it is... The Law Governing Belief Systems

82 The Law Governing Belief Systems

I trust you have had a really good Christmas. The New Year will be starting next week and that is usually a time of renewal. Not just a new year, but new ideas, new plans, new beginnings and often a new sense of enthusiasm. I know in the training industry people often want to start the year with a new set of skills, or to brush up on their existing skills, so we get very busy for the first few months of the year.

You may even be planning some New Year resolutions. To be honest I am not a great fan of this sort of life planning. Resolving to do something different, or improve your life in some way, should not be left to that one time in the year when you are probably celebrating. New Year resolutions seldom work.

However, planning for your future around this time does make a lot of sense. But what do you want to achieve in 2007? In my experience we tend to set very low goals and even then we fail to achieve them. The reason why we set low goals is to do with what we believe about ourselves.

Do you believe that you can earn a million rand this year?

No?...... Why not?

Don't worry about it just yet, you are in the majority, most people feel the same way. "A Million Rand" We say, "I will never earn a million rand in a year". Our belief system tells us that we can not do it so we do not even try.

We all have a belief system that prescribes what we can achieve. Our belief system has been built up over the years from our parents, from our teachers, from the people we meet, from the television, from our culture, from our religious leaders, and from what we see and hear around us. Our belief system is telling us what we can achieve and what is not possible to achieve. Our belief system is controlling our destiny and in most cases our belief system is holding us back. What is in your belief system right at this moment that is holding you back?

Our belief system started to develop back at school. The teacher says to little Johnny "I am sorry Johnny, but you are never going to be an artist. You may be an accountant one day but you will never be an artist."

Teachers are always right, of course, (Parents are often wrong, but teachers are always right!) so Johnny does not try to be an artist. Seventy years later Johnny looks back at his life and says "You know, my teacher was absolutely right. I never became an artist"

Well of course he did not become an artist; he did not try to become an artist. This is what is known as a self fulfilling prophecy.

What is in your belief system right now that is holding you back?

When I left school I was at a loose end for a while. I was not good academically. I struggled with spelling at school and that effected most subjects in those days and while I just about passed, that was all I could manage.

After School I was not sure what I should do so my Mother said to my Father "What about taking Richard into the business with you?" My Father was a successful businessman with branches of his business all over the country so I am sure he could have found something for me but he said "What?... Richard?...... In my business?.... What would he do? ...... He cannot write, he cannot spell. What could he do in the Business?

So there was a man whom I respect, telling me I could not write and that went into my belief system. I did not write my first book until I was 45 years old, and to write that first book I had to battle with my belief system. I have eleven books published now and many more on the way but I had to get beyond my belief system to do it.

What is in your belief system that is holding you back?

Last year I was running one of the two day sales training courses that have become very popular over the last few years and during the break I was having a cup of tea with one of the young delegates. She took one sip of her coffee and made a face "Yuck... this milk is off" she said.

"That is funny I said, I have had the same milk in my tea and it is fine"

Then she said something very strange "I Hate Tuesday!" Now this was very odd because we were not talking about Tuesday at all.

"Tuesdays are horrible" she went on "I was late this morning, but I am always late on a Tuesday. My assignment was wrong and now the milk is off in my coffee. Why are Tuesdays always bad days?"

"That's strange" I said "I quite like Tuesdays. But then again, I like Mondays as well, and the rest of the week is pretty good, I wonder why you hate Tuesday?"

"I have no idea," she said, "But I hate Tuesdays!"

It was then time to get back to the training course so we could not continue the discussion.

About half an hour later during a particularly intense part of the course on Negotiation skills she put up her hand and, at the same time said "I know what it is!"

Nobody else in the room had any idea what she was talking about but she went on "I remember that when I was 12 years old we had a large family and I had to do the washing up on a Tuesday, and I hate washing up! I remember lying in bed after I had been called on Tuesday morning pretending to be asleep because when I wake that would start the day that would end with me having to do the washing up. I was always late for school on a Tuesday, and Tuesdays have been bad to me since then."

What is in your belief system that is holding you back? We have already agreed that you do not believe that you can earn a million rand this year so what else is holding you back?

Belief systems are in all of us, and even when you know they are dangerous, we all still have them. Last year I was sitting with my accountant discussing the previous year's figures. This is a task that I do not look forward to. I have never really understood the complexities of the balance sheet so I have an excellent bookkeeper and an excellent account and I let them worry about all that stuff.

To make the pain of the annual occasion easier, we always finish the meeting with an excellent lunch, so when we are discussing the figures I am half focused on the lunch to come. During the last meeting Marc, my accountant, suggested that I should concentrate on the figures and I told him that I am sure he knows what he is doing, and anyway, I don't really understand Balance Sheets. "Why not?" asked Marc "You are an intelligent guy, with a good head for figures, balance sheets are easy."

It was then that I realised that he was absolutely right. Looking back I realised that, as a child, my brother was always the one with the head for figures. He was the one who became a Chartered Accountant. Richard, on the other hand, was not gifted in that way (according to my parents) and would probably end up as a milkman. This then goes into my belief system and while I have had a very interesting life and broken away from my parents expectations, my belief system tells me that I don't understand Balance Sheets.

Once I identified that as an issue I have easily overcome it. Very often it is identifying these limiting belief systems that help you realise how silly they are.

So what's in your belief system that is holding you back?

Right now your belief system is telling you what you deserve in your life, what position you should hold at work and what you should be earning. Your belief system is telling you where you should live, what type of car you should drive, who you should marry and how successful you will be. In short, your belief system is in control.

In your company the belief system of your team is controlling how successful you are going to be. Can you really afford to leave it like that?

I have no idea why our belief systems are so powerful. I have no idea why our belief systems have such a control over us. It's just the way it is. But once you know you are being controlled by your belief systems, and those belief systems come from the craziest of things, like a comment from a teacher 20 years ago for instance, you can begin to question what you believe about yourself.

When you set your goals for this coming year set goals outside your own belief system.

Later on in this series we are going to show how we can achieve these goals and then how to create our own belief systems to be as successful as we want to be.

81 – Just the way it is 2 - The Law of Synchronicity

Last night I got an e-mail from a friend in England. This is not such an unusual occurrence; I have a few friends in England and around this time of year people are often moved to write a line or two to their friends. What made this more interesting was the fact that I had just written to him and the moment before I pressed the button to send my communication, I got his. Was that a coincidence?

Of course, this has happened to you as well. You think about someone and 5 minutes later you get a phone call from them. You are having a conversation with someone and you both introduce the same subject at the same time. Coincidence?

With some people this sort of “communication” is much more common. Twins, for instance, often feel each other’s presence even when they are in different parts of the world. What makes this “feeling” more interesting is that there seems to be no time delay between sending the feeling on the one hand, and receiving the feeling on the other. I don’t mean that it is just quick; it is instant, it happens at exactly the same time.

This phenomena has interested scientists for some time and a couple of discoveries over the last few years may be able to shed some light onto what is happening (Even though nobody has shed any light on how it is happening)

We all learnt at school that all physical matter is made up of molecules and these molecules are made up of atoms. Atoms have a nucleus with loads of bits buzzing around them in a predictable way. The buzzing bits (not a technical term) sometimes appear to jump from one orbit to another. This is not new stuff at all but what makes it interesting is that it is not moving from one orbit to another. It seems to vanish in one place and instantly appear in another. This is known as a Quantum Leap.

The other interesting scientific stuff that may shed some light on the law of synchronicity, is that studies have shown that cells taken from a human and placed in a jar some distance from the donor will react to what happens to the donor. For instance: Sperm cells placed under a microscope will react when the donor is reading a copy of Playboy in the next room or 50 miles away.

One last thing to consider before looking at the results of this law. We are all individuals with individual identities and feelings; however, we are also living and breathing in a world full of other individuals. Each time you breathe out you breathe cells into the atmosphere, which will be taken in when someone else breaths in. When I touch a door handle I leave cells for someone to pick up when they open the same door straight after me. We are individuals of course, but we are exchanging cells with other people all the time. We are individuals but an outsider might see us as one mass of interchanging cells.

The world has a way of synchronising events. A couple of months ago I went to the new aquarium in Durban and was fascinated with the schools of small fish swimming in the same direction. When they changed direction they all did it at the same time. Not one fish changing direction and the rest following, all at exactly the same time. Nobody knows how they do it; it’s just the way it is. Flocks of birds have a similar ability. They swoop and turn in unison, if they didn’t they would bump into each other.

We seem to have lost our trust and understanding of the law of synchronicity that the birds and fish see as second nature.

I work from home and I am fascinated by my two dogs that seem to know when people are coming to the house long before they arrive. They will be sitting at the front gate when my gardener arrives despite the fact that he only comes once a week and nobody knows which day of the week he is coming. (Nobody except the dogs that is) My wife arrives home through the garage at the back and they will be sitting waiting at the back long before she arrives. Coincidence? Maybe…. But in my experience this happens far too often to be coincidence. Just like the fish and the birds, the dogs are tuned into something that helps them predict and communicate.

We all have this ability but our trust in science and technology and our mistrust of anything we don’t really understand has put up a barrier between ourselves and our natural understanding of the world and the way it works.

Last night I was sorting out some old photographs taken 25 years ago when I was living in England. About 20 minutes ago, just after I started this article I had an e-mail from a friend in one of the photographs. I haven’t seen nor spoken to her for 5 years.

I have no idea how this works in the way it does, I don’t have to understand it to know that it works. It’s just the way it is.

You may be sceptical, I can understand that, and that’s okay. I am sceptical about things that I don’t understand until I prove to myself that it works in certain way.

Take some time this evening to prove it to yourself. Sit down quietly on your own and focus on a friend you have lost touch with. Think lovingly of them, truly wishing that you could make contact again. Remember what it was like when you were last with them. Feel the feelings that you had for them.

You may not get a phone call from them tomorrow, they may not have your number, or they may not think now would be a good time to get back in touch. A thousand things may get in the way but if you don’t hear from them, give them a call.

I wonder how often you will get the answer. “Funny you should call I was thinking about you just last night!” Don’t prompt it, just wait and see what they say. The worst thing that can happen is that you speak to a friend you have been thinking about.

I have hundreds of my own experiences in synchronicity but I would be very interested to hear yours. If this article struck a cord please write back and share your experiences with me. (richard@richardmulvey.com)

80 Just the way it is! - The Law of Attraction

Have you ever wondered why gravity pulls things down rather than up? Probably not, well not since you were 5 going through that “Why?” stage.

Actually I am not sure that I care very much why gravity works, just as long as it just does. Life would be very awkward if gravity didn’t work all the time in a predictable way. Walking in the street would be very dangerous with cars floating in the air one day and falling to the ground the next. I stand on the scales one day and am happy to see that I am 75kg. The next day I am 110kg and suicidal. That wouldn’t work at all so I am very relieved that there are laws that govern these things.

There are loads of things that I don’t really understand. Oh sure…. I was taught at school all about the magnetic field of the earth and how that affects apples that fall from trees. I am not sure I really understood why the earth has a magnetic field, but my family home in Stanmore (London) was built on the site of an old orchard so I certainly knew not to sit under the apple trees at the end of the growing season.

There are lots of things I don’t really understand.

How does electricity work for instance? Why do I like oranges but not pineapples? Why do I chip the ball into the water trap when I am trying so desperately hard not to?

I have a big barrel in my mind where I put the things I don’t really understand. I rarely go back to that barrel and look inside for greater understanding. I don’t pull things out and ponder over them with an enquiring mind. I am very happy not to know why these things do what they do. I know that is “just the way it is” and I leave it at that.

There are many Laws that the world seems to live by. The law of gravity will hold you on to the pavement when you walk to the shops but the same law will let you float around in a space ship. When you switch on the light in the bedroom you make a direct connection to a power generator many hundreds of miles away and instantly experience the result of many of the laws of physics. You will probably also disturb your partner who was trying to lie in for another 30 minutes and develop a greater understanding of the laws of relationships.

We don’t have to understand the laws of physics to know that the switch will illuminate the bedroom. That’s just the way it is.

Success or failure work in the same way. There are a few fundamental laws that govern whether you will be successful or not. These are not laws that I fully understand, I simply know them to be true from my experience and the experiences of others. I started to understand these laws when I was 26 years old, although I am still learning about them now.

Over the next few weeks Richard’s Review is going to be a little different. Rather than discussing a series of random sales and management principles, I am going to expand on the laws governing success and failure. In many cases I don’t know how they work. Many of them are securely placed in that barrel of things I don’t really understand. What I do know is that they do work, like switching on the lights, with a few simple actions I can take full advantage of their benefits without understanding how. That’s just the way it is.

The Laws

1. The Law of Attraction

2. The Law of Abundance

3. The Law Governing Belief systems

4. The Laws of Pleasure and Pain

5. The Law of Focus

6. The Power of Visualisation

7. The Law of Cause and Effect

8. The Law of Change

9. The Law of Karma

10. The Law of Time

11. The Law of Confidence

12. The Law of Giving and Receiving

13. The Law of Synchronicity

14. The Law of Balance

1. The Law of Attraction

As I reach into that barrel of things that I don’t really understand I pull out the law of attraction.

This law states simply that like attracts like. I have read many articles by people far cleverer than I, that try to explain why this happens and I am still not sure, it’s just the way it is and it can be seen in action everyday.

Why do you think that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer (if that is possible). That’s the law of attraction. When George Bush spends so much of his time focusing on terrorism, who is surprised that he is attracting exactly what he is trying to repel.

You cannot get away from this law. We are attracted to live in areas with like minded people; we are attracted to the same music and the same holiday destinations (if you don’t believe me take a trip to Margate on the coast in KZN and see if you can spot anybody not from Gauteng.)

This law of attraction works on a much deeper level as well. We tend to get what we think most about, and this is where the law can become a very useful tool, or a dangerous one.

Useful

Imagine you would like to attract wealth into your life. The poor find this difficult because they are focused on getting to the end of the day with a full stomach and a roof over their head. They are constantly focused on being poor and cannot see an end to it. The rich, on the other hand, focus on being rich, on spending wealth and attracting more. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.

To change this cycle we have to begin to think like the rich. Focus on being wealthy; act as if you are wealthy. Now I don’t mean rush off and max out your credit card. That’s the sort of thing that poor people do. I mean get a clear visual image (we will look at visualisation later) of what it will be like when you are rich, make plans for the future as if you are rich. You can still see yourself as a wealthy person and drive around in a 10 year old Audi 400. I did that for a few years when I started this business and I never for one second thought of myself as less than wealthy.

Your friends have a major part to play in this process as well. Surround yourself with people who have in their life what you would like to have in yours. See yourself on a level with them and you will, eventually get there.

Dangerous

The law of attraction does not know the difference between good or bad. In the same way that poor people get poorer, unless they change their thinking, you will attract into your life all of the bad things that you would like to repel when you focus on these things.

My in-laws were wonderful people, and I loved them dearly, however, they were obsessed with being robbed. They had burglar guards every where. Metal trellises across every window that had to be closed at night and a wrought iron secure entrance lobby that had to be entered before the front door. Dogs in the garden. The works!

They were not wealthy people and therefore not really attractive to organised crime, but despite their security measures, their house was broken into twice and they were also mugged in a restaurant. They attracted the very thing they didn’t want by becoming obsessed with it. We all know of people like that.

George Bush in a prime example of the same syndrome.

How to use the Law of Attraction.

Firstly you have to decide what you want of course. If you want to be wealthy, (and there is nothing wrong with wealth, it’s what you do with it that matters) think yourself wealthy, act yourself wealthy, surround yourself with wealthy people and plan for your wealthy future.

You will bang your head against your belief system at this point and we will be looking at that later in this series, but for now ignore your belief system and feel wealthy.

If you want to give up smoking don’t focus on giving up smoking. If you focus on smoking your will attract to your life exactly what you are trying to avoid. Focus on being healthier; surround yourself with healthy people and feel healthy. Many studies have shown that people who believe they are healthy are very rarely ill.

The Law of attraction works. I don’t know why, that’s just the way it is.